Today I practice synthesizing some thoughts on gender roles over the last few generations, and how hypergamy can guide us towards holistically fulfilling relationships.
Perhaps its me, but It has sounded in my eyes a lot similar as the narrative blaming men and masculinity. Or perhaps this is aligned with your view that most men are emitionally retarded as you pointed in your first reply. A subte bias.
Im referring to this sentence in particular:
"We provide space for men to cultivate their more aligned selves through honest and vulnerable connection."
This implies that MEN NEED to cultivate this, entailing that they do NOT already have some something, or they lack It in sufficient amount. I.e. treating men as detective.
This blames men, and I am pretty sure a lot of will read It in the same way.
How about taking the approach that you (men) are perfectly normal, you are rigth as you are. But sometimes you (men) as any other human being may need help.
A space for men to receive help, explore yourself in times of need.
--> "We provide space for men WHEN THEY NEED TO cultivate their more aligned selves through honest and vulnerable connection."
Look how different this looks. This is conditional (when) and suggest that you have It in normal amount, but you need to go deep sometimes. It applies sometimes, not ALL men ALWAYS, like a factory defect.
Im trying to make an honest constructive suggestion, but in any case probably you need to change your general view that men are emitionally retarded. You live in a State with a majority of men, where tradicional work has disspear and It is probably in economic decline. How men cannot be depresed in such a context? As women probably are as well, but they can marry a man (Who are generally less Picky) if they want. Its the context, not the "men".
Btw, thanks for taking time to help others. Thats wonderful.
We are divorced: in my case, after 20 years. But I dont understand why "not thriving in relationship with your women" should be considered a men problem and not a women problem. If a couple split, probably both are guilty. Instead, your approach suggest that is men's fault as men are emontional retarded. Completly false narrative that is more harming than helpful.
I have an excelent relationship with my new partner (and so are 2 of my 3 brothers - the 3ed has not repartnered yet) and with my 2 kids. I have share custody of them while I am a successful partner in Big Law. I do coching for young men (lawyers mostly) who are brilliant Young profesional.
Men can be suffering? Of course. As women are. Taking an approach that suggest that men cannot thrive at emontional aspect of their lives beuse they are retarded just reinforces a wrong and harmful gender steriotype bolster by the left.
Men may need help in certain periods of life. As all humans may do also. Taking a steriotyped approach is not only wrong, but depressing.
Sounds like some men resonate with your message, and others with mine. This is important because we can’t keep reaching more men to be better (even if women also need to be better) without a diversity of tactics. Good luck to you out there
It could be. The problem is that the approach per se impacts globally reinforcing a steriotype that harms all men. May I suggest something? Why dont you sligthly addap the message giving a temporary frame? Instead of saying "men need to connect with vulnerability" take a temporary approach "during some periods, even men need a deeper internal connection". This avoids the narrative where It seems that men has a maliesse or masculinity is bad, and, instead, give men a fair view as human: even if you are strong, all people need help from time ti time. Just a suggestion.
This is what the meeting is for, temporary vulnerability aka dropping your walls for an hour together to speak truth. Thats it. I didnt imply masculinity was bad at all as far as me or other men can see. Perhaps your lens and viewpoint finds that in my word choice, but I didn’t mean it.
Thats nice. My comment is more relating to the description in the website. Why are all men groups refer to "vulnerality", "authectic connection". This seems treating men as retarded to be honest
Thanks for sharing this thought. As far as I can tell many men have trouble being authentic, or knowing how to become that way. And, connecting vulnerably, with honesty and courage, is how we might find a way to explore that.
Also, men are emotionally retarded as far as I can tell that’s why we need men’s group. How’s the men in your life? Are they all thriving and healthy and in fulfilling relationships with their women? If not, maybe they are emotionally stunted like the rest of us.
Thanks for the great podcast Paul. Looking forward to attending my first virtual circle with the Dogwood club
Thank you!
Compare the website with these:
https://www.heartlightjoy.com/women-s-circles
https://womensgivingcircleofncwv.org/
The mens one is built from depression, without a true meaning of connection. It looks like a bunch of depresed men. Not a space to thrive.
The women ones are built from the idea "you are wonderful, but society does not allow you to thrive, so we are here"
Other men on::
https://ourtempleinthetrees.com/events/categories/mens-womens-circles/mens-circle/
The same idea behind. Men depresed. Its not a place of joy, make good connection and thrive. Its therapy!
Where are the real mens clubs where men can make connection without a fepresing atmoshphere?
This is a completly failed mainset
Perhaps its me, but It has sounded in my eyes a lot similar as the narrative blaming men and masculinity. Or perhaps this is aligned with your view that most men are emitionally retarded as you pointed in your first reply. A subte bias.
Im referring to this sentence in particular:
"We provide space for men to cultivate their more aligned selves through honest and vulnerable connection."
This implies that MEN NEED to cultivate this, entailing that they do NOT already have some something, or they lack It in sufficient amount. I.e. treating men as detective.
This blames men, and I am pretty sure a lot of will read It in the same way.
How about taking the approach that you (men) are perfectly normal, you are rigth as you are. But sometimes you (men) as any other human being may need help.
A space for men to receive help, explore yourself in times of need.
--> "We provide space for men WHEN THEY NEED TO cultivate their more aligned selves through honest and vulnerable connection."
Look how different this looks. This is conditional (when) and suggest that you have It in normal amount, but you need to go deep sometimes. It applies sometimes, not ALL men ALWAYS, like a factory defect.
Im trying to make an honest constructive suggestion, but in any case probably you need to change your general view that men are emitionally retarded. You live in a State with a majority of men, where tradicional work has disspear and It is probably in economic decline. How men cannot be depresed in such a context? As women probably are as well, but they can marry a man (Who are generally less Picky) if they want. Its the context, not the "men".
Btw, thanks for taking time to help others. Thats wonderful.
Me and my 3 brothers are thriving in business.
We are divorced: in my case, after 20 years. But I dont understand why "not thriving in relationship with your women" should be considered a men problem and not a women problem. If a couple split, probably both are guilty. Instead, your approach suggest that is men's fault as men are emontional retarded. Completly false narrative that is more harming than helpful.
I have an excelent relationship with my new partner (and so are 2 of my 3 brothers - the 3ed has not repartnered yet) and with my 2 kids. I have share custody of them while I am a successful partner in Big Law. I do coching for young men (lawyers mostly) who are brilliant Young profesional.
Men can be suffering? Of course. As women are. Taking an approach that suggest that men cannot thrive at emontional aspect of their lives beuse they are retarded just reinforces a wrong and harmful gender steriotype bolster by the left.
Men may need help in certain periods of life. As all humans may do also. Taking a steriotyped approach is not only wrong, but depressing.
Sounds like some men resonate with your message, and others with mine. This is important because we can’t keep reaching more men to be better (even if women also need to be better) without a diversity of tactics. Good luck to you out there
It could be. The problem is that the approach per se impacts globally reinforcing a steriotype that harms all men. May I suggest something? Why dont you sligthly addap the message giving a temporary frame? Instead of saying "men need to connect with vulnerability" take a temporary approach "during some periods, even men need a deeper internal connection". This avoids the narrative where It seems that men has a maliesse or masculinity is bad, and, instead, give men a fair view as human: even if you are strong, all people need help from time ti time. Just a suggestion.
This is what the meeting is for, temporary vulnerability aka dropping your walls for an hour together to speak truth. Thats it. I didnt imply masculinity was bad at all as far as me or other men can see. Perhaps your lens and viewpoint finds that in my word choice, but I didn’t mean it.
Thats nice. My comment is more relating to the description in the website. Why are all men groups refer to "vulnerality", "authectic connection". This seems treating men as retarded to be honest
Thanks for sharing this thought. As far as I can tell many men have trouble being authentic, or knowing how to become that way. And, connecting vulnerably, with honesty and courage, is how we might find a way to explore that.
Also, men are emotionally retarded as far as I can tell that’s why we need men’s group. How’s the men in your life? Are they all thriving and healthy and in fulfilling relationships with their women? If not, maybe they are emotionally stunted like the rest of us.
The Dogwood Club?? Really?? Men being trated like emontional retarded? 🤦🤦
The Dogwood is the state tree of Virginia, if that’s what you’re referring to